his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
