she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Send help, water and tortillas.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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