Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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