i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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