hotel room ftw
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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