i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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