watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
