i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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