okay pat passed out under dana's car
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
