first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
