i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
