Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
