you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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