I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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