Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
