You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
