:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
