So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
