Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
