arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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