its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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