the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My vagina just clenched in fear
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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