I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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