i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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