So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
