What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
