Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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