i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
