belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
