i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I need moral support for this bender
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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