i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
two words: eviction party
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
