Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
