when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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