Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
birth control should be required to get into college
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
