My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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