Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
