If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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