Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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