Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
