I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize