The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
