If that was your dad, he is hot
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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