dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize