I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
