there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
