woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
