marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
