only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
