even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
