You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
