So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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