I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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