I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Found your dick twin last night
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just want to make out with him forever
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
