Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Someone signed my nipple.
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