We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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