Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
