I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
soo... how was my night?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
