So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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