i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize