they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Randomize
