Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
