She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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