If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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