Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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